Albania

When me and my friend Michael rented the car in Macedonia to go to Albania we were like “we don’t need a GPS, it’s OK, we got a map”, but the salesperson gave it to us for free anyway like “trust me, you will need this”. At the same time he warned us not to stare us blind at the GPS because sometimes the roads just end and there will be a cliff without any warnings.

With this in mind we entered Albania from Kosovo and since we heard a lot of bad stuff about the roads in Albania we were amazed how good they were, it had been much worse in Kosovo so it was actually a relief to be on a normal road again. All was good until the GPS suddenly said “follow the road to the ferry” and we got a bit suspicious. We arrived at the dock but we were the only ones there and it didn’t feel right at all that we were supposed to go on a ferry. I tried to speak with the gentleman running the ferries but he didn’t understand English and when I told him that we were going to Shkodër he was just saying “no no” and then he pointed at the direction that we came from and he made some gestures that we were in big trouble, like the road would be a crazy road up the mountains to get there or something. Since we had no other choice and since we couldn’t quite understand him we went back from the direction we came and crossed a bridge to see if the GPS would tell us another route from there, and it did, great, Shkodër here we come!

We got a bit worried when the signs told us to wear snow chains but since it was a sunny day in late February we thought nothing more of it. We drove up a hill and when we got to a turn it was like a staged car thief set from a movie, a car without wheels and two people standing about, and I thought to myself, “OK here we go, this is what I’ve been warned about”. I had read a lot of people getting their cars hijacked in northern Albania before the trip. But they didn’t even try to stop us and so we went further up the hill.

And up, and up, and up, and suddenly we realized that we were on a very high mountain with a very narrow and disintegrating road with no barriers between us and a fall to a certain death. Sometimes they had just marked big holes in the ground by putting some energy drink-cans around the hole as if to say, don’t drive here.

My vertigo kicked in and the tombstones alongside the road of people who had fallen off the road didn’t make it easier for me to endure. I noticed myself grabbing a hold of the door handle as to be ready to jump out of the car if we would go off the cliff, I don’t think it would help much though since I had my seatbelt on. The road just kept going higher and higher with every turn up the mountains and when I was sure I would die this very day in Albania of every place, Michael had to step on the breaks. From nowhere a kid came rolling down the mountain with a very cheap version of a soapbox car with food cans as wheels. We hadn’t seen anybody for hours up the mountains and here this kid just thinks of my supposed graveyard as his playground. 

Im pretending to enjoy the view but actually I just ate a bag of tzatziki flavoured potato chips and thought to myself "atleast I got a great tasting snack as my last meal".

After hours and hours up the mountain, where we even drove through snow while we had the clouds beneath us, we finally began descending. I couldn’t be much happier and we passed some sheep and shepherds until we got to two dogs walking in the middle of the road. In Albania dogs aren’t seen as pets and apparently they can be dangerous. One of the dogs started to run before the car at the same time as he barked and looked behind him as he played with us, but since a dog had attacked the car the day before in Kosovo it was no play for us since we knew what they were capable of. So Michael tried and tried to get around the dog but it was always in the way and as soon as we seemed to get out of the trouble the dog ran like crazy and got before us again. This cat and mouse game (or as they say in Albania, dog and car game) finally came to an end and we could break free without running over the dog.

We came to a police control in the middle of nowhere and if this was in any other country I wouldn’t be scared but in Albania it can be the same thing as a robbery since they won’t let you go sometimes without bribing them. Since they couldn’t speak English we couldn’t communicate with them and after they asked if we could speak Italian and we couldn’t they just gave up on us and let us go. Sometimes it might be a good thing to not know any other languages than Swedish and English.

We finally arrived at Shkodër like 4 hours later than we thought and the first thing we saw was a 10 year old kid driving his friend in a car like it was no big thing. Then we tried to find our hotel by going down the same street 3 or 4 times before we gave up and parked the car. Then a guy came shouting to us “I think you are going to stay at my hotel right? Central Hotel?”.

No wonder we couldn’t find the hotel, since it had no sign, and it was no hotel. It was a flat that was colder than outside, which was already freezing cold since it was late in the evening, and when I asked him about this he just told me to put the AC on and it would be no problem.

We hit the streets of Shkodër and there were as much people as stray dogs, sometimes the two communicated by the dogs jumping and biting the humans. I had an uneasy feeling and I told Michael that I wanted to go home and get some rest and we could go out at daytime tomorrow instead. When we got back to the flat known as Central Hotel it was still cold in the room even though we had full warmth on coming from the AC and when I found out one of the windows were broken I could see why. I went to bed with all my clothes on to keep some warmth and then I woke up in the middle of the night since it was freezing cold in the room. The AC wasn’t working and when I tried to turn on the light I understood that the electricity was gone. The rest of the night I spent with all my clothes on that I brought for the entire trip and the only thing that was going through my mind was “why are you doing this to yourself?”

The next day we escaped the flat and went to Rofaza Castle to try and see something of Albania that I didn’t despise. It was a cool place with a nice view and I even met an American Mormon up there. It can’t get any better than that.

One thing, and maybe the only thing, I enjoy with Albania is the flag looking like a logo for a metal band, the hardest flag on earth!


We then escaped Albania as quick as we could and went to Montenegro for some days before it was time to go back through Albania to get back to Macedonia where the trip originated from. I refused to go through the mountains again and we found a highway that took us straight to the border of Kosovo with no problems at all and great views of the mountains all the way. They seemed so much more beautiful from this perspective.

Albania – Swedish Nerd 1-10, on knock out. Since I mostly wished me away.

*Best things about Albania – The scenery as long as you don’t drive up in it
*Most mediocre thing about Albania - nothing, it's all or nothing in this country
*Worst things about Albania – killer dogs, no electricity and tombstone roads

Best countries in the world according to the Swedish nerd (will be updated with every post):
1. Albania (I have a feeling it might drop really quick as soon as I visit other places)
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