Monaco

If you don't count the Vatican then Monaco is the world's smallest country and it's actually just a small part of the French riviera that has become its own country, so that the rich people can go somewhere to avoid taxes. 

Me and my friend Andreas came by train from the shitty place Marseille in France, and we would only stay in Monaco for one night since it was so expensive to stay there. We even had to stay in an apartment hotel just outside the border of Monaco to be able to afford it, but it's not like you notice any borders anyway.

Monaco is more of a city than a country and you can walk wherever you want to go, except to the Exotic Garden I guess. My first suggestion to Andreas was to go to the garden and we tried to find our way through the maze of all narrow streets and steep hills. We got lost and could see that we were a mountain down from the garden and we asked a rich guy walking by if he knew how to get up to it. He showed us the somewhat hidden elevator in the mountain but of course it was out of function and then he didn't know what to do. We looked at the map and figured that maybe we could go through the hospital and end up at the top of the mountain. When we were looking around the hospital for a way up we laughed at what we were doing, we had one day in Monaco and here we were running around a hospital. We gave up but at the same time I didn't want to give up so I managed to get Andreas to follow me back up to where we had came from and from there we easily found the garden by going on a different route. After all this searching in the heat I thought I deserved an ice cream and bought an ugly-looking chocolate flavoured one. It wasn't even expensive and I thought to myself "Isn't this Monaco? It should be expensive and be of highest quality!". It was the best damn ice cream I have ever tasted, so I learned the lesson of not judging a book by its cover. 

Andreas wasn't keen on paying to enter the Exotic Garden since he had no interest in it, but he agreed in the end and the views inside were amazing! The exotic plants in the forefront, the beautiful city of Monaco inbetween and then the endless sea. I could also see Stade Louis II which was the stadium for the football team of Monaco who had just invaded the French League while we were there. The rich owner bought a team together to try and crush Paris SG where the Swedish football star Zlatan played, but you should know by now that nothing can defeat Zlatan.

There was a possibility to go down a cave with a tour guide in the Exotic Garden and once again I managed to get Andreas on board even though he didn't seem that interested. It was nice to see the caves but at the same time we got the feeling back of "we only got one day to spend in Monaco, and we spend it in a cave so that we can't even see the city". 

We went out from the gardens and I bought a new ice cream since the last had been so amazing, this one even looked delicious with fresh kiwis frozen inside of the see-through ice cream. I once again learned not to judge a book by its cover since it wasn't that good. Andreas bought the chocolate one that I had loved, and he agreed that it was as amazing as the view! 

We had some beers on the balcony of our apartment hotel and I talked loud and clear in Swedish about the people on the balcony of the opposite house, I talked about the disgust of rich people who can live in Monaco while I have to live in the suburbs in Sweden. After talking about it for a while I realized that they were Swedish too when they talked to each other before going into their apartment and I felt so embarrased. 

Andreas was keen to see the most famous spot in Monaco, the Monte Carlo Casino, which is associated with James Bond as well as the movie Ocean's Twelve, and it's one of the most famous casinos in the world. I knew they wouldn't let a slob like me inside so I had even brought my fancy shirt that I only wear for special occasions like New Year's Eve and stuff. We started off the evening by going down to the Champions Promenade next to the sea, to have some beers next to the foot prints of Zlatan and other stars.

We told each other that we shouldn't drink too much since we needed to act on our best behaviour to get in to the casino later on, but it ended up by me drinking beer from Zlatans foot print, and lying on a turtle statue with my pants open like a drunk, before Andreas went to McDonalds to eat. It was the perfect version of not doing what you should do if you want to pretend you're a rich snob who wants to get into the casino, with all the expensive cars outside to show which clientele is welcome.

To my surprise we got in and since Andreas is the gambler of us, he started off by exchanging 100 euro into chips. The dealer could tell we weren't rich when Andreas asked if he could bet less than 25 euro per game, but that was the minimum and I just laughed at how out of place we were. I would watch Andreas play first and then I would play if I saw that he would win, because he knows how to play blackjack for real and not by luck like me. He lost 75 euro in a heartbeat and I was like "no way I'm not playing this!". He had only 1 chip left when suddenly he started to win all the time and ended up by leaving the table with 300 euro. I acted like his manager and took away chips from him every time that he won so he wouldn't lose them again. I can regret that I never played myself but it was a fun and safe way to enjoy the game by acting as Andreas manager instead.

I loved Monaco and the next day when I sat on the balcony of our apartment hotel, I wished we could stay for some more days instead of going back to the shitty Marseille, but poor people just have to understand where we belong, and unfortunately it's not in Monaco.

* Best things about Monaco – the Exotic Garden was amazing, and pretty much everything else about the city too, except for the prices

* Most mediocre thing about Monaco – why isn't it just a part of France? but at the same time I don't like France so I understand why!

* Worst things about Monaco – I'm too poor to live there, and it's a fantastic country but it's also the smallest country in the world except for the Vatican

Best countries in the world according to the nerd (will be updated with every post):
1. Croatia
2. Andorra
3. Cyprus
4. Greece
5. Italy
6. Monaco
7. Malta
8. Iceland
9. Denmark
10. Lithuania
11. Macedonia            
12. Ireland
13. Belgium
14. Estonia
15. Kosovo
16. Finland
17. Latvia
18. France
19. Bulgaria
20. Luxembourg
21. Liechtenstein
22. China
23. Bosnia And Herzegovina
24. Albania