United Kingdom
I have always viewed United Kingdom as four separate countries in the shape of England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland but it's actually just one big country.
So how did I end up spending a lot of my childhood vacations in Scotland of all countries? Well, my dad Björn was out riding his luxurious motorcycle called Gold Wing in Scotland when he arrived at a gas station in the northern part. A young fellow named Sean who worked at the gas station helped dad clean his motorcycle and since my dad was a neat freak he immediately took a liking to Sean. Björn told Sean he should get on the motorcycle and that he would take a picture of him, and send to him when he got back to Sweden. Sean waited and waited for the picture to come, but when he probably had given up hope, an enlarged image arrived at his home and this was the start of a lifelong friendship.
My dad got invited back to Scotland to see Sean's family consisting of his mom and dad, Kay and Leslie, and his sister Anne-Marie who lived in Thurso in northeastern Scotland. He never got there because of a storm, and instead the family bonded with my mom over the phone since they all wondered where he was at, at this point of time there were no cell phones. Since then, me and my sisters Sandra, Linda and Åsa has been to Scotland to visit the Bremner family various times together with my mom Annika and dad. They have visited us in Sweden too and we still have contact with each other 30 years later.
It's hard to remember much of the stuff since I was only a kid when I was there. I even remembered being at Loch Ness to try and see the famous monster that says to be lurking in the waters, but my mom says I haven't been there. I'm still confused about this, but I guess she must be right, maybe I just got so much into the story as a kid that I went into the images and remember being on the shore of the sea. But I remember it so clearly in real life that I don't know what to believe anymore, is it something as odd as a false memory?
Something I do remember is that we thought the food was horrible in Scotland. So when Leslie, who knew about all the good restaurants, took us just outside Thurso to eat pan pizza, I can still remember how delicious it was some 30 years later.
I always wanted to have a dog when I was a kid and the Bremner family had the cutest Samoyed dog ever called Shiba, who I fell in love with, so friendly and cuddly.
I also remember drinking non-alcoholic drinks at a hotel called Battleblent Hotel outside a small place called Dunbar outside of Edinburgh. They were the most delicious thing I have ever tasted and I even remember the bartenders name Lola, maybe it did such an impression on a kid like me because it rhymed with Cola? The hotel owners name was the same as mine and for the first time I felt Jim wasn't an odd name as it was back in Sweden. The hotel was out in the middle of nowhere so I don't even get how we ended up there a couple of times, but since even Kylie Minogue has been there, there must have been some kind of attraction to the place.
When we went into Edinburgh I remember seeing a man play the bagpipes in his kilt and my mom told me that they didn't wear underwear, which amazed me since the cold weather.
When we were in Aberdeen I remember buying a pen that could write invisible stuff, on one hand I thought it was so dumb to have a pen that wrote nothing, but on the other hand I thought it was amazing that the message appeared when you took another pen and filled the "empty" spot with a marker.
I remember having an argument with my mom in Dunbar because I thought it was so stupid of her to speak in a language I couldn't understand. I told her "I see why they have to talk weird, but why do you have to?", as if they would have understood her if she talked Swedish.
My mom and dad got the feeling of coming home when they visited Scotland, the same feeling I got when I got to USA, so they almost moved there. It was really close but in the end my mom stopped it because she thought of all the problems with us kids having to learn a new language, changing schools, and that my sister Linda maybe wouldn't get the help she would need, since she is mentally disabled. I remember my dad saying that he wanted to move to the Orkney Islands and I probably would have loved it as a kid, but today I think I'm happy I'm not living in Scotland. Don't get me wrong, I love Scotland, but the weather is bad enough in Sweden!
The next time I returned to United Kingdom was when me and my friends Johan and Pidor were going to London in 2004 as the first stop on our small trip around Europe. I was now an adult even if we behaved like teenagers and we had this stupid idea that we would just go round partying all over Europe and crash at whatever apartment which hosted the after party. After walking aimlessly all day in London with our bags I suggested that maybe we should get a hotel after all, since I was getting tired of carrying all my belongings around. I couldn't see how we should be able to just find a random party to crash at in a city where we had no friends. Reality checked in and so did we in a cheap hostel and a weight was lifted off our shoulders, also literally.
I thought it was weird that we had a sink in our room but no toilet, so I told my friends "you might believe that this is a sink, but now we´re in England where everything is the other way around. You got left-hand traffic in the streets so this sink is actually a toilet". I peed in the sink to make a statement and when my friend Pidor saw me and said "hey, I'm going to brush my teeth there", I just told him "no, you do that in the toilet". That was how low our level of humour was and it just got worse. We started making up jokes based on the English language like when we went into a small grocery store and asked the clerk if he knew any cheap (sheep) stores around? He seemed a bit confused so we added "you know like bää (the sound of a sheep)". Then we stopped a busy businessman on the street and said "sorry we can't meet (meat)", and he seemed confused, and I added "because I'm a vegetarian" and he got upset that we had bothered him with this idiotic joke when he was in a hurry.
We did such strange things to waste the time, we watched an old lady pick grass from a lawn and put it in a bag. We thought it was so funny, what would she need grass for? And why was she so picky with choosing it, isn't grass just grass? Of course we also did more traditional tourist stuff like watch the Big Ben, but that was more by accident.
All in all I was a bit disappointed with London, it wasn't bad but why were everybody raving about it? Maybe it was our own fault though, and maybe I would enjoy it more today when I don't act like an idiot, at least not to this degree. I can be envious about how naive we were at this time though, we had no clue and we didn't care, we just went along with everything that came our way!
My friend Christofer and I arrived to the British Virgin Islands (BVI) by cruise ship just like many of the other 350 000 tourists each year. I feel sorry for the 32 000 natives to be invaded like this, but I guess they are pretty used to it by now since Spain, France, Netherlands and even Denmark has claimed this territory since the early 1500's, even if it now belongs to the United Kingdom.
The west part of the Virgin Islands belongs to United States Of America and is therefore called United States Virgin Islands. Territorial pissing anyone? Just give it all back to the natives instead even if it's 500 years too late.
We arrived at the main island Tortola and while Christofer was busy at the gym at the ship I headed into the city center of the capital Road Town. It lived up to its name since there were just roads and nothing else. Bored I went back to the cruise pier and its haven of shops for tourists. I bought myself a BVI T-shirt since I love the name, who wouldn't want to be on an island full of virgins?
We had a drink each at a bar at the pier, Christofer had some magical coconut drink that looked awesome, It was glistering with some weird shiny stuff that I've never seen before, like some magic potion out of Harry Potter. And I had myself a Painkiller, to ease the pain from the knowledge that I would one day have to leave the Caribbean.
First we had a walk down to Devil's Bay and had a swim before we went to the Baths through the caves.
Some American models were having a photo shoot and I tried my best to be in it of course.
I liked the place, it was really nice, but I think I had too much expectations that it couldn't live up to. With that I'm not saying you shouldn't go there, I'm saying you should have lower expectations and enjoy it, which I did anyway of course!
On our way back to Tortola with the boat from Virgin Gorda it was time for yet another round of free rum punch as we had gotten at the catamaran in Saint Lucia too, earlier on the cruise. I can say it wasn't just because of the boat crashing through the waves that I had a hard time standing on my feet, enjoying this beautiful place while the islands passed us by. It's definitely the best place I've ever been to in the United Kingdom!
* Best things about United Kingdom – the non-alcoholic drinks at Battleblent and the pan pizza just outside Thurso is the things I remember the most, the friendship with the Bremner family in particular but also how nice everyone else was is something I will always cherish to make my childhood the best ever, and the scenery of the harsh but beautiful landscape of Scotland is something I will always remember, and how can toast taste better cut in triangles? Well it does, and I discovered it in Scotland, and oddly enough I also discovered mac 'n' cheese there even if it's an American thing, I would also add Virgin Gorda to the list after I've been to the Caribbean, most definitely the most beautiful place in the United Kingdom
* Most mediocre thing about United Kingdom – I loved the myth about the Loch Ness monster as a kid, and I cherish the memory of standing next to the sea trying to spot the monster, but have I ever been there?
* Worst things about United Kingdom – the weather is even worse than in Sweden
Best countries in the world according to the nerd (will be updated with every post):
1. Croatia
2. Montenegro
3. Andorra
4. Cyprus
5. Greece
6. Italy
7. Spain
8. Monaco
9. Malta
10. Netherlands
11. Iceland
12. Denmark
13. Lithuania
14. Macedonia
15. Portugal
16. Slovakia
17. Slovenia
18. New Zealand
19. Ireland
20. United Kingdom
21. Belgium
22. Poland
23. Estonia
24. Switzerland
25. San Marino
26. Kosovo
27. Romania
28. Finland
29. Latvia
30. Moldova
31. Norway
32. France
33. Bulgaria
34. Luxembourg
35. Liechtenstein
36. China
37. Serbia
38. Bosnia And Herzegovina
39. Albania
So how did I end up spending a lot of my childhood vacations in Scotland of all countries? Well, my dad Björn was out riding his luxurious motorcycle called Gold Wing in Scotland when he arrived at a gas station in the northern part. A young fellow named Sean who worked at the gas station helped dad clean his motorcycle and since my dad was a neat freak he immediately took a liking to Sean. Björn told Sean he should get on the motorcycle and that he would take a picture of him, and send to him when he got back to Sweden. Sean waited and waited for the picture to come, but when he probably had given up hope, an enlarged image arrived at his home and this was the start of a lifelong friendship.
It's hard to remember much of the stuff since I was only a kid when I was there. I even remembered being at Loch Ness to try and see the famous monster that says to be lurking in the waters, but my mom says I haven't been there. I'm still confused about this, but I guess she must be right, maybe I just got so much into the story as a kid that I went into the images and remember being on the shore of the sea. But I remember it so clearly in real life that I don't know what to believe anymore, is it something as odd as a false memory?
Something I do remember is that we thought the food was horrible in Scotland. So when Leslie, who knew about all the good restaurants, took us just outside Thurso to eat pan pizza, I can still remember how delicious it was some 30 years later.
I always wanted to have a dog when I was a kid and the Bremner family had the cutest Samoyed dog ever called Shiba, who I fell in love with, so friendly and cuddly.
I also remember drinking non-alcoholic drinks at a hotel called Battleblent Hotel outside a small place called Dunbar outside of Edinburgh. They were the most delicious thing I have ever tasted and I even remember the bartenders name Lola, maybe it did such an impression on a kid like me because it rhymed with Cola? The hotel owners name was the same as mine and for the first time I felt Jim wasn't an odd name as it was back in Sweden. The hotel was out in the middle of nowhere so I don't even get how we ended up there a couple of times, but since even Kylie Minogue has been there, there must have been some kind of attraction to the place.
When we went into Edinburgh I remember seeing a man play the bagpipes in his kilt and my mom told me that they didn't wear underwear, which amazed me since the cold weather.
When we were in Aberdeen I remember buying a pen that could write invisible stuff, on one hand I thought it was so dumb to have a pen that wrote nothing, but on the other hand I thought it was amazing that the message appeared when you took another pen and filled the "empty" spot with a marker.
Always with a smile on my face in Scotland, almost!
I remember having an argument with my mom in Dunbar because I thought it was so stupid of her to speak in a language I couldn't understand. I told her "I see why they have to talk weird, but why do you have to?", as if they would have understood her if she talked Swedish.
Me and my sister Linda enjoying the rural charm of Scotland
Another walk down memory lane was when my mom told me there was a law in Scotland that you would get fined if you spat on the streets. I remember how hard I thought it was to not break the law. I thought it was so stupid, but at the same time I wanted to be obedient!
Me playing some pool with my dad, in those times we didn't take pictures trying to get likes on Facebook, we captured the reality of ordinary life instead
My last memory is from when we lived in Kay's parents house down by the beach, where ebb and flood decided if it was a sea or a beach. I went down to the beach alone one day to listen to the sea through the seashells, and since it was so close to the house I didn't bother to tell my mom about it. Some minutes later she came running in panic and she was so happy to find me, she had heard the news about kids being kidnapped in Scotland lately and for a minute, she had thought I was gone forever.
My mom and dad got the feeling of coming home when they visited Scotland, the same feeling I got when I got to USA, so they almost moved there. It was really close but in the end my mom stopped it because she thought of all the problems with us kids having to learn a new language, changing schools, and that my sister Linda maybe wouldn't get the help she would need, since she is mentally disabled. I remember my dad saying that he wanted to move to the Orkney Islands and I probably would have loved it as a kid, but today I think I'm happy I'm not living in Scotland. Don't get me wrong, I love Scotland, but the weather is bad enough in Sweden!
Since they drive on the left side, then why not having chairs in the bed too?
I thought it was weird that we had a sink in our room but no toilet, so I told my friends "you might believe that this is a sink, but now we´re in England where everything is the other way around. You got left-hand traffic in the streets so this sink is actually a toilet". I peed in the sink to make a statement and when my friend Pidor saw me and said "hey, I'm going to brush my teeth there", I just told him "no, you do that in the toilet". That was how low our level of humour was and it just got worse. We started making up jokes based on the English language like when we went into a small grocery store and asked the clerk if he knew any cheap (sheep) stores around? He seemed a bit confused so we added "you know like bää (the sound of a sheep)". Then we stopped a busy businessman on the street and said "sorry we can't meet (meat)", and he seemed confused, and I added "because I'm a vegetarian" and he got upset that we had bothered him with this idiotic joke when he was in a hurry.
We did such strange things to waste the time, we watched an old lady pick grass from a lawn and put it in a bag. We thought it was so funny, what would she need grass for? And why was she so picky with choosing it, isn't grass just grass? Of course we also did more traditional tourist stuff like watch the Big Ben, but that was more by accident.
All in all I was a bit disappointed with London, it wasn't bad but why were everybody raving about it? Maybe it was our own fault though, and maybe I would enjoy it more today when I don't act like an idiot, at least not to this degree. I can be envious about how naive we were at this time though, we had no clue and we didn't care, we just went along with everything that came our way!
___________________________________________________________________________
UPDATE*
The west part of the Virgin Islands belongs to United States Of America and is therefore called United States Virgin Islands. Territorial pissing anyone? Just give it all back to the natives instead even if it's 500 years too late.
We arrived at the main island Tortola and while Christofer was busy at the gym at the ship I headed into the city center of the capital Road Town. It lived up to its name since there were just roads and nothing else. Bored I went back to the cruise pier and its haven of shops for tourists. I bought myself a BVI T-shirt since I love the name, who wouldn't want to be on an island full of virgins?
Sorry to say but I was the only one who looked like a virgin
It's a drink made famous at Soggy Dollar Bar, it's called that because it's at one of the 50 other smaller islands that make up the BVI. It's at a rural beach where the boats can't dock, so the guests have to take their dollars (I know it's weird but American Dollars is the currency in BVI) for a swim to reach the beach and the bar. The dollars are soggy because of this when it reaches its destination.
We were waiting for a boat to take us to another island called Virgin Gorda, with it's terrain made up of gigantic boulders lying scattered all over.
It's a really special place and we were riding an open, safari-style coach overlooking the landscape that looked like something from The Flinstones mixed up with beautiful and colourful houses. Now I started to understand why BVI nowadays is one of the wealthiest areas in the Caribbean thanks to the tourism. That's not to say that the population has an easy life since almost 30% of them fall into the "low income" category because of income inequality. BVI is a famous tax haven and you can be sure to hear about it almost everytime an economical scandal is in the news.
We arrived at the top of our destination which would be the Baths, one of the most popular sights. It's an unusual geological formation consisting of huge, sea-sculpted granite boulders that line the beach and form tidal pools, tunnels, caves, arches and scenic grottoes.
First we had a walk down to Devil's Bay and had a swim before we went to the Baths through the caves.
Some American models were having a photo shoot and I tried my best to be in it of course.
I liked the place, it was really nice, but I think I had too much expectations that it couldn't live up to. With that I'm not saying you shouldn't go there, I'm saying you should have lower expectations and enjoy it, which I did anyway of course!
On our way back to Tortola with the boat from Virgin Gorda it was time for yet another round of free rum punch as we had gotten at the catamaran in Saint Lucia too, earlier on the cruise. I can say it wasn't just because of the boat crashing through the waves that I had a hard time standing on my feet, enjoying this beautiful place while the islands passed us by. It's definitely the best place I've ever been to in the United Kingdom!
* Best things about United Kingdom – the non-alcoholic drinks at Battleblent and the pan pizza just outside Thurso is the things I remember the most, the friendship with the Bremner family in particular but also how nice everyone else was is something I will always cherish to make my childhood the best ever, and the scenery of the harsh but beautiful landscape of Scotland is something I will always remember, and how can toast taste better cut in triangles? Well it does, and I discovered it in Scotland, and oddly enough I also discovered mac 'n' cheese there even if it's an American thing, I would also add Virgin Gorda to the list after I've been to the Caribbean, most definitely the most beautiful place in the United Kingdom
* Most mediocre thing about United Kingdom – I loved the myth about the Loch Ness monster as a kid, and I cherish the memory of standing next to the sea trying to spot the monster, but have I ever been there?
* Worst things about United Kingdom – the weather is even worse than in Sweden
Best countries in the world according to the nerd (will be updated with every post):
1. Croatia
2. Montenegro
3. Andorra
4. Cyprus
5. Greece
6. Italy
7. Spain
8. Monaco
9. Malta
10. Netherlands
11. Iceland
12. Denmark
13. Lithuania
14. Macedonia
15. Portugal
16. Slovakia
17. Slovenia
18. New Zealand
19. Ireland
20. United Kingdom
21. Belgium
22. Poland
23. Estonia
24. Switzerland
25. San Marino
26. Kosovo
27. Romania
28. Finland
29. Latvia
30. Moldova
31. Norway
32. France
33. Bulgaria
34. Luxembourg
35. Liechtenstein
36. China
37. Serbia
38. Bosnia And Herzegovina
39. Albania
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