Barbados

Barbados is both a famous spot for tourists in the Caribbean and the name of a famous Swedish "dansband" (dance band in English). It's a cheezy music genre that's popular in Sweden for old people to dance pair dance to. It resembles how the music from Eurovision Song Contest used to sound before they got modernized. I guess the gay singer of the band Barbados didn't know that homosexual acts are illegal in Barbados and that the colonial era law bears a maximum sentence of life in prison for being gay. Maybe the band would have chosen another exotic name then. I prefer the musicians from the island Barbados instead of the Swedish "dansband", both Rihanna and Grandmaster Flash originated from Barbados, which used to be colonized by Great Britain. This is why they still speak English which the tourists can appreciate. 

My friend Christofer and I arrived by a cruise ship and after heading into the capital of Bridgetown to get some Barbadian Dollars we went straight to the long and beautiful beach next to the city center. 

It's actually so long that it changes name four times before we reached our final destination where I would rent a Stand Up Paddle board. Before that we were approached by guys from jet ski and sunbed rentals, and when I kindly dismissed the offers they instead offered me "Bob Marley" as they called it, more commonly known as weed. 

When we had almost reached our destination there was a pier going out in the water from the beach hotel, which cut us off from the beach on the other side. We tried to go around the hotel but a guy denied us since it was the Yacht Club, and he told us to go under the pier through the crashing waves since it was low tide right now. It was a romantic entrance to the beach to have to enter through the waters but at the same time I had all my belongings like passport, wallet and phone on me. If I would fall because of the waves crashing into the pier my cruise trip would have come to a quick end. I also wondered how we would ever get out, if it turned into high tide while we were on the other side of the pier.

It was much easier than it looked to go under the pier through the waist high waves, and it was time for me to learn how to Stand Up Paddle, while Christofer enjoyed his sunbed at the beach while listening to music.

I met an American lady who would also do the SUP at the same time as me and she gave me some advice since she had done it before on a calm lake in USA. This was something completely different though with big waves and the current pulling the board out to the left. I tried standing up a couple of times but it always just lasted a brief period before I almost fell off, so I made it a Sit Down Paddle instead.

I enjoyed the sit down ride while I cursed the children who could do it standing up as if it was the easiest thing in the world. A couple of paddlers even did yoga moves on the boards. I got my revenge every time they fell off and hit their head though. And then they got their revenge on me when I stood quietly at the beach with the board in my hands when a gigantic wave came crashing in and pulled me under, while throwing the board all over me.

Luckily I survived without a scratch and went out for a final round, Swedish Nerd Vs. The Caribbean Sea. The American lady swam out to me and said she had given up, and that it had been impossible for her to stand up as well. That gave me a sense of comfort at least!

I dragged Christofer out in the water to play with the air pillow trampoline, my idea was for him to be sitting on the air pillow while I jumped from the trampoline to make him go fly out in the sea. Instead we fell off the trampoline as smooth as two elephants and gave up the water adventures for the day. 

We had some food and local beer at the beach bar upstairs and I tried some local rum called Mount Gay, just because I found the name ironic since their awful laws against homosexuals. 

Then we found a way out of the beach without crossing under the pier, it was actually pretty easy, but then again it was more of an adventure to come in through the waves so I'm glad we entered that way!

* Best things about Barbados – the long beaches with the clear blue waters, it's like a dream if you get rid of the many hundreds of tourists that flock there

* Most mediocre thing about Barbados – the city center is pretty cozy but nothing special and a bit too busy

* Worst things about Barbados – the horrible law against homosexuality, and on a more personal note the insane sunburn I got after playing at sea all day, and all the people who hangs around in the city center to try and rip tourists off, one guy went to shake my hand and then he wouldn't let go so I had to pull with all my power to get away from him

Best countries in the world according to the nerd (will be updated with every post):

1. USA

2. Croatia

3. Montenegro

4. Andorra

5. Cyprus

6. Turkey

7. Greece

8. Italy

9. Spain

10. Monaco

11. Malta

12. Netherlands

13. Iceland

14. Denmark

15. Sweden

16. Lithuania

17. Macedonia

18. Armenia

19. Portugal

20. Hungary

21. Slovakia

22. Belarus

23. Slovenia

24. Austria

25. Russia

26. Barbados 

27. New Zealand

28. Ireland

29. Germany

30. United Kingdom

31. Belgium

32. Poland

33. Vatican City

34. Estonia

35. Czech Republic

36. Switzerland

37. San Marino

38. Kosovo

39. Romania

40. Finland

41. Latvia

42. Azerbaijan

43. Georgia

44. Antigua & Barbuda

45. Moldova

46. Norway

47. Ukraine

48. France

49. Bulgaria

50. Luxembourg

51. Liechtenstein

52. China

53. Serbia 

54. Bosnia And Herzegovina

55. Albania