Honduras

Honduras is considered one of the most dangerous countries in the world, so my friend Amanda and I went to the safer island of Roatán outside of the mainland. We went there by cruise ship to have a VIP treatment at a private island called Little French Key, just off the coast of Roatán. We would swim with pigs, snorkel at the second largest barrier reef in the world called Mesoamerican, ride horses in the sea, get a massage on the beach, have a private area for ourselves and even a private butler and so on. We had really invested in this day to be the best ever!

After a short ride with a minivan from Mahogany Bay to the French Cay, we got on the boat that would take us to the private island in just a couple of minutes. I hadn't been that impressed of the country along the way and now that I saw the island, it didn't live up to my high expectations. It looked alright, but not like the paradise I had seen in the pictures. 

When we got ashore on Little French Key we were greeted by the smell of animals in cages and their feces. We felt a bit lost since no one really told us where to go, and we knew we would have a tight time schedule to be able to do all the stuff we had paid for. So I asked a staff member if she could show us to the VIP area so we could get started.

I wouldn't call it a private VIP area though since it was open for everyone, except for an upperdeck where we could put our belongings. We got greeted by a guy who said he would be our host, but as soon as we wanted to do something like swim with the pigs or go horseriding, it was always someone new to get in touch with, so it felt a bit confusing and we never knew who to contact to do the stuff. It would be so much easier with one host getting us around all the activities, just like we had imagined it would be like. Now it was more up to us to figure it out and when we got started by riding the horses we were still trying to be positive.

It was funny how the stable was upon a bridge over the water, that was until you understood how badly the horses didn't want to be there. We got upon the horses and my horse tried to bite the guy who led the horse as soon as he saw a possibility for it, while Amanda's horse refused to go down into the water, and almost raised itself upon its backlegs to show how much it despised being forced down into the water.

We rode around in a slow tempo mostly taking pictures and I tried to enjoy it, but I just couldn't because of how bad the animals were treated. When we got off the horses Amanda said the same thing, and the guy who had been leading her horse some meters behind me had even been hitting on her all the time we had been walking around. He had been saying all kind of weird stuff and tried to get her to move to Honduras, as soon as he found out me and Amanda were just friends and not a couple.

We thought oh well the pig swimming can't be worse at least, but it could. We imagined pigs running around freely on the beach swimming, but instead they were locked up in small cages and the guy who was in charge of them was so cruel to them. He just threw them in the water and hold their pigtails when they tried to swim ashore, so they couldn't get anywhere. They were kicking and squeeling and you could tell that they didn't want to be swimming or be interacting with tourists, they just wanted to be left alone so they could do their own thing.

He told Amanda to hold one of the mini pigs that I wouldn't call mini, and the pig squeeled and squeeled, so she told me to take over. I couldn't stand the squeeling because I don't want to distress any animal, so I let it go on the ground and it ran away. The guy who were supposed to be in charge was nowhere to be found, he had disappeared. So when he finally came back I thought he would be so mad at us letting the pig go, but he didn't care at all. He was like "yeah whatever, it will come back".

We would give it another go to swim with another pig, and when he told me to hold the pig under the butt, the pig started to poop. It missed me by centimeters so now I just wanted to get this over with. I finally understood how to hold the pig, because he wasn't that good at explaining it, and suddenly the pig stopped squeeling and just lied in my arms and had a good time.

Amanda wanted to give it one last try too, but the pig squeeled and kicked her so much that she got bruises all over her arms. So we gave up and headed for some well deserved massage after this trauma, the pigs should get some too.

I'm probably the only person in the world who doesn't love massage. I guess I don't have the same muscles as everyone else, because I have never understood what's so good about it. It was alright but I was mostly looking forward to go snorkeling.

After some food we went out by boat to the Mesoamerican barrier reef to snorkel with an American family and the guide. Amanda and the kid in the American family seemed a bit nervous so I tried to calm them both by saying that it feels much better when you're finally in the water. I had already experienced it in Grenada when I was scared of jumping in, but then I was the last to get out when I realized there were no sharks there.

A picture from the beloved Internet to show you how it looked like since we had no waterproof camera, it wasn't as colorful as I'd hoped for

We snorkeled for a bit and I enjoyed every minute of it, since I know it's almost impossible to encounter a shark. That was until something came lurking deep under me on my left side where the water was much deeper, next to the reef. It was a small shark and even though it didn't seem interested in us, I kept on looking back over my shoulder since it had passed us. And I swam to get up on the boat as soon as possible after I had told Amanda about it. Just when I was about to get up I felt something on my leg and I knew it was over. But thankfully it wasn't the shark, it was just me who had accidentally kicked the side of the boat. So I hurried up and sat down in the boat finally feeling safe again.

Oddly enough Amanda kept on snorkeling and got to see a stingray and hold a starfish and a huge seashell, that the guide brought to her from the bottom. Thankfully no one got attacked and I was so relieved to be on land again.

The last thing I did was that I got so drunk on free local drinks, that I tried to walk out to some beach chairs in the middle of the shallow sea, because it looked so awesome. I cut my feet on shells and stuff for every step I took, but I was so determined that I just kept on walking. That was until one of the staff members saw me and asked Amanda if I was high or something. He then got into the sea to call me back. I went back disappointed and he told me it wasn't any beach chairs, it was just two big branches. It must have looked so funny watching me from the beach, like the drunk idiot I was, stumbling around in the sea with a drink in my hand going out to the eternity.

I couldn't say this day was a VIP experience, but it was an experience at least!

* Best things about Honduras – forget everything we paid for, and just enjoy swimming in the nice environment instead

* Most mediocre thing about Honduras – the massage, I don't hold it against them though, it's my body which can't enjoy it

* Worst things about Honduras – sharks and animal cruelty

Best countries in the world according to the nerd (will be updated with every post):
1. USA
2. The Bahamas
3. Croatia
4. Montenegro
5. Andorra
6. Cyprus
7. Grenada
8. Turkey
9. Greece
10. Italy
11. Spain
12. Monaco
13. Malta
14. Netherlands
15. Belize
16. Saint Lucia
17. Iceland
18. Denmark
19. Sweden
20. Lithuania
21. Macedonia
22. Armenia
23. Portugal
24. Dominica
25. Hungary
26. Slovakia
27. Belarus
28. Slovenia
29. Austria
30. Russia
31. Barbados
32. New Zealand
33. Ireland
34. Germany
35. United Kingdom
36. Belgium
37. Poland
38. Saint Kitts & Nevis
39. Vatican City
40. Estonia
41. Czech Republic
42. Switzerland
43. San Marino
44. Honduras
45. Colombia
46. Costa Rica
47. Kosovo
48. Romania
49. Finland
50. Latvia
51. Azerbaijan
52. Georgia
53. Saint Vincent And The Grenadines
54. Antigua & Barbuda
55. Moldova
56. Norway
57. Ukraine
58. France
59. Bulgaria
60. Luxembourg
61. Liechtenstein
62. Trinidad And Tobago
63. China
64. Serbia
65. Bosnia And Herzegovina
66. Albania